“One morning I shot an elephant in my pajamas. How he got in my pajamas, I don’t know.” ~ Groucho Marx
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Author: Murphy Law
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Today’s LifeSucx:
“Is a vegetarian permitted to eat animal crackers?” ~ George Carlin
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Today’s LifeSucx:
“Some sad news from Australia… the inventor of the boomerang grenade died today” ~Johnny Carson
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Today’s LifeSucx:
“My doctor told me to watch my drinking. Now I drink in front of a mirror. I drink too much. Way too much. My doctor drew blood. He ran a tab” ~Rodney Dangerfield
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Today’s LifeSucx:
“I always cook with wine. Sometimes I even add it to the food.” ~ W.C. Fields
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Today’s LifeSucx:
“A day without sunshine is like, you know, night.”
~ Steve Martin
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Today’s LifeSucx:
“I was married by a judge. I should have asked for a jury.”
~ Groucho Marx
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Today’s LifeSucx:
“I haven’t spoken to my wife in years. I didn’t want to interrupt her.” ~ Rodney Dangerfield
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Today’s LifeSucx:
“I used to jog but the ice cubes kept falling out of my glass.”
~ David Lee Roth
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Angry Guy Says:
“I have a few jokes about unemployed people, but none of them work…”