“I accidentally handed my wife a glue stick instead of lip balm. She still isn’t talking to me”
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“I accidentally handed my wife a glue stick instead of lip balm. She still isn’t talking to me”
“You know you are ugly when it comes to the company photo and they hand you the camera”
“When I was a kid, I had a disease that required me to eat dirt twice a day in order to survive… It’s a good thing my older brother told me about it.”
“What do you call fifty guys watching the Super Bowl?”
(Your Team)
“A termite walks into the bar and asks, ‘Is the bar tender here?”
“My father has schizophrenia, but he’s good people…”
“It takes a lot of balls to golf the way I do…”
“I failed math so many times at school, I can’t even count”
“If each day is a “gift”, I’d like to know where I can return the Monday”
“A fire hydrant has H-2-O on the inside and K-9-P on the outside”