“I spent a lot of time, money, and effort childproofing my house … but the kids still get in…”
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Tag: humor
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Angry Guy Says:
“Before you marry a person, you should first make them use a computer with a slow Internet connection to see who they really are”
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Angry Guy Says:
“I just bought new shoes from my drug dealer. Don’t know what he laced them with, but I’ve been tripping all day”
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Today’s LifeSucx:
“A recent study has found that women who carry a little extra weight live longer than the men who mention it”
“It’s Not A Lie If You Believe It.” – George Costanza
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Friday – On Monday
“I know ya don’t smoke weed, I know this. But I’m gonna get you high today cause it’s Friday, you ain’t got no job and you ain’t got shit to do.” ― Smokey
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Today’s LifeSucx:
“Alcohol does not make you fat, it makes you lean: against tables, chairs, walls, floors and ugly people”
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Once Upon A Time In The West:
“How can you trust a man who wears both a belt and suspenders, a man who can’t even trust his pants?”
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Angry Guy Says:
“I always take life with a grain of salt…. and a slice of lemon…. and a shot of tequila”
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Today’s LifeSucx:
“Life is all about perspective. The sinking of the Titanic was a miracle to the lobsters in the ship’s kitchen…”