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Tag: lifesucx advice
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Today’s LifeSucx:
“Confucius say: Man who farts in church sits in his own pew!”
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Today’s LifeSucx:
“My wife gets all the money I make. I just get an apple and clean clothes every morning” ~ Ray Romano
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Today’s LifeSucx:
You know you’re getting old when you get that one candle on the cake. It’s like, ‘See if you can blow this out.’ ~ Jerry Seinfeld
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Today’s LifeSucx:
I asked my old man if I could go ice-skating on the lake. He told me, “Wait til it gets warmer.” ~ Rodney Dangerfield
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Today’s LifeSucx:
“Confucius say: Foolish man give wife grand piano, wise man give wife upright organ”
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Today’s LifeSucx:
“It was a woman who drove me to drink, and I never had the courtesy to thank her for it” ~ W.C. Fields
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Today’s LifeSucx:
“Now they show you how detergents take out bloodstains, a pretty violent image there. I think if you’ve got a T-shirt with a bloodstain all over it, maybe laundry isn’t your biggest problem. Maybe you should get rid of the body before you do the wash” ~ Jerry Seinfeld
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Today’s LifeSucx:
“I remember the time I was kidnapped and they sent back a piece of my finger to my father. He said he wanted more proof” ~ Rodney Dangerfield
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Today’s LifeSucx:
“I’m on that diet where you eat vegetables and drink wine. That’s a good diet. I lost 10 pounds and my driver’s license” ~ Larry the Cable Guy