“I was married by a judge. I should have asked for a jury.”
~ Groucho Marx
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“I was married by a judge. I should have asked for a jury.”
~ Groucho Marx
“I used to jog but the ice cubes kept falling out of my glass.”
~ David Lee Roth
“I have a few jokes about unemployed people, but none of them work…”
“If I got 50 cents for every failed math exam, I’d have $7.86 now…”
“What’s the difference between ignorance and apathy? I don’t know and I don’t care”
“Geology rocks, but geography’s where it’s at”
“Maybe if we start telling people their brain is an app, they’ll want to use it”
“A rich man is one who isn’t afraid to ask the clerk to show him something cheaper…”
“I spent a lot of time, money, and effort childproofing my house … but the kids still get in…”
“Before you marry a person, you should first make them use a computer with a slow Internet connection to see who they really are”