Tag: lifesucx

“A termite walks into the bar and asks, ‘Is the bar tender here?”

“I failed math so many times at school, I can’t even count”

“If each day is a “gift”, I’d like to know where I can return the Monday”

“A fire hydrant has H-2-O on the inside and K-9-P on the outside”

“Sometimes I wish I were a nicer person, but then I laugh and continue my day”

“The difference between a hippo and a Zippo is, one is heavy and the other is a little lighter”

“I asked my date to meet me at the gym today. She didn’t show up. That’s when I knew we weren’t gonna work out”

“I find it ironic that the colors red, white, and blue stand for freedom until they are flashing behind you”