“I always take life with a grain of salt…. and a slice of lemon…. and a shot of tequila”
Tag: one liners
Today’s LifeSucx:
“Life is all about perspective. The sinking of the Titanic was a miracle to the lobsters in the ship’s kitchen…”
Today’s LifeSucx:
“A doctor tells a woman she can no longer touch anything alcoholic. So she gets a divorce…”
Angry Guy Says:
“I started out with nothing and I still have most of it”
Angry Guy Says:
“I asked our IT guy, “How do you make a motherboard?” and he said, “I tell her about my job.”
Angry Guy Says:
“I just found out that I’m colorblind. The diagnosis came completely out of the purple”
Superbowl Sunday:
The phrase, ”I’m not drinking too much during tonight’s game”, never goes as planned…
Angry Guy Says:
“My wife is such a bad cook, she uses the smoke alarm as a timer”
Angry Guy Says:
“I accidentally handed my wife a glue stick instead of lip balm. She still isn’t talking to me”
Angry Guy Says:
“You know you are ugly when it comes to the company photo and they hand you the camera”